Dear Mr. Conley,
I regret to inform you and all of your apple love that I have purchased one of the new 15″ Macbook Pro laptops. You are probably thinking that this is fantastic news; however, it means that I have purchased a laptop for the sheer price to spec sheet. Which additionally means that I will be putting a copy of windows 7 on the laptop immediately. It’s actually currently going through the process as we speak. Finally, you are not going to be pleased because this means that I will most likely be talking some serious apple smack with the new device. If only the keyboard wasn’t so majestic…
I once owned a laptop under the branding Macbook Pro. It was a fantastic laptop. Well built, fast, and the keyboard is the best keyboard I have used on a laptop to date. It was purchased in 2010 for $2700 dollars and sold in 2013 for $600. The $600 was then used to purchase an atrocity commonly referred to as a “Surface Pro.” This was a mistake.
In 2011 I swore to never purchase another Apple product. A partial mix with the reasoning of Apple has a poor operating system and I oppose the business operations in the assembly plants. These reasonings have been disregarded as the latter would force me to never buy 90% technological devices again. The OS is still garbage, but damn this hardware is beautiful…
In summary, I will try to do my best to not be a belligerent Apple hating fool over twitter and various other social networks. If you would like, when tweeting pictures of my new beautiful piece of technology, I can include a hashtag along the lines of #dontLookJamesItsAWinBookPro. Let me know if this precaution is required.
Your friend Caleb
<insert poorly written signature here>